I recently had the privilege of listening to brothers tell their fathers story it was one of the best eulogies I had ever heard which made me think what was it about this one which I connected with and here's my reflections of what makes a good eulogy/ tribute and what I would include.
They knew what they wanted to communicate - Their dad was a man who enjoyed life and they knew he would want to make the room smile, the brothers trusted each other to be there and communicate the bond was obvious and they bounced off that some may say they channelled their inner Ant and Dec - but both of the sons were true to themselves and to what they knew they wanted to share.
So if you want to share at your loved ones funeral here are a few things to include
Tell their story their way if they used phrases all the time then use those.
My grandma always said tell them I love them so that was threaded through all which was said
Speak of the challenging times as well as the moments of Joy and there will be both. We all know these moments in our life and we want to cheer people on
Friends and family -mention the family connections and how they were spoken of- My grandmas will eternally known as Grandma round the corner and yoda
Hobbies, interests and victories - I love hearing how years ago this now older body once swam the English channel or was a ninja who knitted blankets for orphanages after the USSR fell. Or even that they thought they had a skill when it came to woodwork but actually they really didn't
Likes and Dislikes - thats what makes us unique - I have lost count of the amount of times when people smile as they remember the very thing which the loved one was passionate about.
Achievements we are not all academic but we all achieve in life - for some people they simply walk through life with grace never making a huge noise but they value others and make them feel incredible that's always an achievement.
Holidays and adventures- one of my greatest memories is when we went on holiday to Scarborough and it rained literally constantly for the week it was freezing but we me and my family were together. I recently spoke at a friends service of how he decided to ride down Black Rock in Derbyshire - did he make it no did he get a lot of bruises yes but am I and everyone who was there that day still remembering that moment and his sense of adventure yes and I smile every time I think of it.
Eulogies and tributes are challenging, I think there's a moment which is the right time to write them and you will know when that is - if you need help then message and ask I'd love to help you share someone's story with the world, more than anything remember to communicate how you feel comfortable tears are ok, laughter is ok, silence is ok - I guess what I'm trying to say is just be you and speak from the heart because it always tells the best stories.
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